tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29935272180508101092024-03-06T22:45:14.383-05:00Are These Results Sufficient?I like messing with people. Logically, I took a job that requires helping people. I like my job.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-2124677252224237382009-05-02T22:16:00.002-05:002009-05-02T22:18:49.881-05:00Pre DevoteesWell obviously I don't post ChaCha stuff anymore. I've long since been fired.<br />BUT!<br /><br />If you thought I was funny come chat me up at my new forums, <a href="http://predevotees.com/forums/index.php">http://predevotees.com/forums</a>. You can talk to me all you want there, and there's minimal risk of me banning you. The only difference is this time I won't be getting paid to put up with your idiocy.<br /><br />But seriously, if you want to discuss hacking, modding, or anything else about the new Palm Pre for Sprint, check it out.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-71460333471632307172007-02-08T20:10:00.001-05:002009-05-02T22:16:47.574-05:00"noob u dont post shit"So I check my email today, and find this comment:<br /><br />"n00b u dont post shit its been leik a month sence ur last ^date!!111!1 lol fag gg i hope they catch u "<br /><br />Now despite the fact that this person is obviously a babbling idiot who was just recently exposed to the internet, he is essentially right. (besides the parts about me being a noob, and me getting caught. gg no re) Anyway, I figured I'd post today.<br /><br />There has been a reason for the lack of "^datez." I have been busy with university (mid-terms), and some other events of a more personal nature. During this time, my account was suspended for inactivity, and I am in the process of reinstating my membership. Eventually this will be handled, at which point I will resume my hilarious antics and continue to post them. ChaCha is not my first priority at the moment, so as I said in an earlier post, just chill out for a while and wait for an update. Maybe subscribe to teh_RSS.<br /><br />Before you know it I'll be back, in all of my glory. Until then, post some s@#$ here... <a href="http://predevotees.com/forums/index.php">http://predevotees.com/forums/</a>. It's a pretty chill site for a pretty chill phone, the Palm Pre.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-84581273485230149412007-01-17T18:38:00.000-05:002007-01-17T18:45:51.257-05:00Concerning UpdatesSorry to everyone who's checking the blog expecting an update and sadly finding I've gone another day without a new post. I've had a busy week, and I have an even busier coming up, so I can't be logged into ChaCha too often. Even more unsettling for me is the fact that when I <span style="font-style: italic;">do</span> log in, I don't encounter any stupid people! The new updates ChaCha has instated have banned a lot of the more interesting searches from the get go, so I may be in trouble as far as finding opportunities goes, but when I do you guys will be the first to know.<br /><br />In any event, just please keep checking back. One day there will be a hilarious new update here, and you'll be that much happier for having waited for it. Thanks for bearing with me!ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-74212229978490224932007-01-07T20:38:00.000-05:002007-01-07T20:45:23.763-05:00Mission: ChaChaToday I was informed of "Mission: CHACHA." A program to spread the word about ChaCha. Naturally, I was immediately interested because this can make me more money. I was reading through the ToS, which seem very lucrative, when I found the following paragraph. It describes what is classified as "cheating the rewards system," aka "gaming" it.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Gaming: Use of any and all cheat programs, including third-party software such as macro programs is strictly prohibited. Examples of cheating include, but are not limited to, </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">aimbots</span><span style="font-style: italic;">, </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">wallhacks</span><span style="font-style: italic;">, poles, and </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">maphacks</span><span style="font-style: italic;">. Any Guide, or other person or entity working on behalf of a Guide, found cheating will be immediately disqualified. Exploitation of any </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">map bugs</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> is strictly prohibited. Use of scripting in configs is prohibited. If there is any question regarding promotional tactics, please contact missionchacha@chacha.com.</span></blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><br />This paragraph is meant to describe "gaming" the system, I.E. cheating. But instead, it describes CHEATING IN VIDEOGAMES! I think someone at ChaCha HQ managed to pull one over on the team, and I can't believe this slipped through into the official ToS.<br /><br />I'm debating whether or not I'll post the link for you all to download my tool bar, thus making me money. It all depends on whether or not it will reveal my real identity. Expect an update regarding this soon. Please refrain from the use of any aimbots in my absence. Thank you.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-75951528793398047822007-01-07T02:15:00.000-05:002007-01-07T02:33:09.496-05:00DADDY?QUERY: DADDY?<br /><br />To maintain the sanity of you, the reader, a majority of this conversation has been omitted. I think its better off that way - for all of us. You can grasp the general direction of the conversation based solely on this snippet. Bear in mind, this went on for about 7 minutes.<br /><br />Info Seeker: HATE TO SEE AN OL DUDE ON DA NEWS FO OVERDOSE ON VIAGRA<br />Info Seeker: U KNOW WUT<br />Guide: Please stop typing in caps.<br /><br />-7 minutes. I don't know why I didn't ban him immediately. Who knows, maybe the $10/hr I make had something to do with it.<br /><br />Info Seeker: FUKKKKKKKKKK U POPZ...N FUKKKKKKKKK CHA CHA...<br />Info Seeker: NOW SLIDE TO DA LEFT<br />Guide: Please stop using caps.<br />Info Seeker: NO FUKKKKKKKKK U<br />Guide: This will be your last warning. Please stop using caps.<br />Info Seeker: I CAN USE CAPSSSS IF I WANNA<br />Guide: You are right.<br />Guide: AND I CAN BANNNN YOU IF I WANNA!!!!!<br />Info Seeker was reported for Guide Abuse.<br />Info Seeker had his Caps Lock button forcibly removed from his computer.<br /><br />This was really out of character for me. I don't know... something about that money just makes me act crazy. As if I were actually adhering to some kind of.. STANDARDS!ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-29812868956863581372007-01-04T23:58:00.000-05:002007-01-05T00:09:09.228-05:00Scalar WeaponsQUERY: Scalar Weapons<br /><br />Hmm... I've never even heard of this. Maybe I can actually LEARN something from a search - something I previously thought impossible! Perhaps this one will be different... yeah. This will be the one. The one search that reaffirms my faith in the human race.<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Info Seeker: hello<br />Guide: Hello!<br />Guide: What do you want to know about scalar weapons?<br />Info Seeker: everything<br />Info Seeker: what they do, how they do it, who they were made by, everything and all!<br />Info Seeker: I feel I have been used by these so called scalar weapons<br />Guide: "Used" you say? Can you explain?<br />Info Seeker: yes<br />Guide: I don't know much about this topic.<br />Info Seeker: ever done any research on them?<br />Guide: No.<br />Guide: I don't know what they are.<br />Info Seeker: *whispers* they are capable of mind control<br /><br />-I guess my faith in the human race will remain unaffirmed. Is unaffirmed even a word?<br /><br />Guide: Oh my...<br />Guide: On occassion, I have felt as if I were under mind control as well!<br />Info Seeker: yes..they are very interesting you should take a look into them<br />Info Seeker: mind control is very evil...so is tampering with the weather<br />Guide: Yes... I agree. But I doubt the Russians would.<br />Info Seeker: they wouldnt, theyre the ones developing the technology<br />Guide: It all makes sense now...<br />Guide: That time I coated myself in chicken fat and stood out on Route 53... I knew that wasn't my idea!<br />Info Seeker: thats sumthing theyd do<br />Info Seeker: ive also been abducting by aliens, i have the microbes to prove it<br />Guide: Snd pix plz.<br />Info Seeker: don't have any but im seriosu<br />Guide: I totally believe you. My dad knew a guy who had a cousin who's friend was the veterinarian of a guy who's grandpa's stepson's dog was once owned by this guy who raped a guy who WAS THERE WHEN THE ROSWELL SPACE SHIP CRASHED. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?<br />Info Seeker: im suprised he isnt dead, to be honest<br />Info Seeker: the government does this kind of stuff all the time<br />Guide: Well he died in an ice skating accident.<br />Guide: But wait... come to think of it, he was always such a good skater!<br />Guide: Do you think...?<br />Info Seeker: if he knew what you say he knew, probably<br />Guide: I...<br />Guide: I'm speechless.<br /><br />I really was. I couldn't think of how to progress with the joke, so I banned him. What? He was being abusive!ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-74881655488588983772007-01-03T20:53:00.001-05:002007-01-03T20:53:49.525-05:00Question for a GuideQUERY: i have a question for any guide<br /><br />Strange search... Maybe I'll have some fun.<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Guide: Go for it, any question you want.<br />Info Seeker: hey<br />Info Seeker: do people mess around with guides a lot?<br /><br />-Opportunity knocks!<br /><br />Guide: I don't know. Want to help me find out?<br />Info Seeker: how can i help with that?<br />Guide: I've been planning a sting operation.<br />Info Seeker: how would this go about<br />Guide: You can't tell anyone this, but I'm actually the CFO of ChaCha.<br />Info Seeker: what is that?<br />Guide: I hear pranks are becoming a series issue.<br />Guide: And I need to see for myself.<br />Info Seeker: oh, i understand<br />Guide: Are you willing to help?<br />Info Seeker: absolutely<br />Guide: Great.<br /><br />-Let the fun commence.<br /><br />Guide: Okay, this is a complex operation, but I think you're capable.<br />Info Seeker: Thanks<br />Guide provides link <a href="http://chacha.com/">ChaCha</a><br />Guide: Here's the ChaCha main site.<br />Guide: I need you to open it in another window.<br />Info Seeker: ok<br />Info Seeker: im there<br />Guide: I need you to query the guide for "one divided by zero."<br />Info Seeker: is it ok if i use digits?<br />Guide: No.<br />Info Seeker: ok<br />Guide: This should gain you entry to the secret robot guide.<br />Guide: It will appear to be a human, but it's not.<br />Info Seeker: it is searching<br />Guide: What is the name of the "guide" you were connected to?<br />Info Seeker: before i continue, could this get me in any sort of trouble with the law<br />Guide: No, of course not.<br />Info Seeker: His name is XXXXX<br />Guide: Perfect.<br />Guide: I want you to give him the instruction: "nerf paged 0 thru 4 endline"<br />Guide: Exactly as I typed it there.<br />Guide: This should issue me the proper reports.<br />Info Seeker: i copied and pasted<br />Guide: Tell me how he responds. He will respond in code.<br />Info Seeker: it transferred me.<br />Guide: Perfect.<br />Guide: Repeat the same message to the new robot.<br />Guide: You're doing great.<br />Info Seeker: thanks<br />Guide: I really appreciate this.<br />Guide: Repost it again.<br />Info Seeker: don't worry<br />Info Seeker: ok<br />Guide: You may have to say it numerous times for "XXXXX" to recognize you.<br />Info Seeker: ok<br />Guide: Tell me what "her" reaction is.<br />Info Seeker: "I don't understand what it is you need help with."<br />Guide: Okay good.<br />Guide: You've reached the main sub-menu.<br />Guide: Tell her, just like this:<br />Guide: "Robot, I would like Issue Report 15B."<br />Info Seeker: without quotes, right?<br />Guide: Yes.<br />Info Seeker: done<br />Guide: How did "she" respond?<br />Info Seeker: "If there isn't anything that you need help with I will be forced to end the session or transfer you to someone else."<br />Guide: Perfect!<br />Guide: Now just say "Give me the requested results number 124!"<br />Guide: Sometimes their internal personality chips act up.<br />Guide: This should be the last command, then I'll have my reports.<br />Info Seeker: it ended the session, im sorry<br />Info Seeker: "Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha. Status: Session ended."<br />Guide: Well done.<br />Guide: I have the reports right here.<br />Guide: Thank you very much!<br />Info Seeker: no problem<br />Info Seeker: gnight!<br />Guide: Wait.<br />Info Seeker: yes?<br />Guide: Here's the part where I hope you have a good sense of humor...<br />Info Seeker: ok what<br />Guide: This was all a joke... I hope you don't mind. I get very bored.<br />Info Seeker: rofl<br />Info Seeker: im seriously laughing dude<br /><br />I'm so thankful this guy has a sense of humor. What a good sport. I wish people were more like him.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-37146460458387500672007-01-03T20:35:00.000-05:002007-01-03T20:53:00.092-05:00Spread the WordI'm trying to spread the word about this site the best I can, and the best method is word-of-mouth. Tell all your friends. Post the link on all those forums I know you go to. Write the URL on the back of any homicide notes you may or may not be writing, etc...<br /><br />I'll continue to provide good posts, as long as people keep reading them! So SPREAD TEH WORD.<br /><br />Who knows. Maybe the forum with the most links to this site may receive a special visit? Probably not, I'm just saying.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-46060004495638399732007-01-01T11:33:00.000-05:002007-01-01T16:45:29.595-05:00Robe and Wizard HatQUERY: Robe and Wizard Hat<br /><br />Great. Something tells me this won't be enjoyable.<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Info Seeker: Hey!<br />Guide: Hey!<br />Guide: What exactly can I find for you?<br />Info Seeker: I put on my robe and wizard's hat.<br />Guide: Great. I've had mine on since 7:00.<br />Info Seeker: I cast level 17 eroticism.<br /><br />-Immediately I recognize I was wrong.<br /><br />Guide: THUNDERBOLT!<br />Info Seeker: I meditate to regain my mana from your thunderbolt , before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.<br />Guide: Oh God... Oh my God...<br />Info Seeker: Oh, what do you do now?<br />Guide: Level 8?!?!?<br />Info Seeker: Yes. It's as bad as you feared.<br />Info Seeker: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.<br />Guide: I pray to Akatosh for energy.<br />Guide: Then cast....<br />Guide: Level 25 SOULS OF THE DAMNED<br />Info Seeker: OH GOD NO<br />Info Seeker: Zombies eat my legs as I fight valiantly against them with my K-Mart lightsaber<br />Guide: Useless... USELESS.<br />Info Seeker: Before I cast level 9 romantic lighting and level 57 Barry Manilow CD.<br />Guide: I counter with fifth echelon "I have work in the morning."<br />Info Seeker: I counter with traditional female response, "I have a headache, but I am willing anyways, and aren't you working now, you slug?"<br />Guide: Awww... you called me a slug....<br />Info Seeker: Before I cast level 70 roll-over-and-watch-Maury.<br />Info Seeker: Do you prefer komodo dragon?<br />Guide: ME: 18/23000 HP<br />Info Seeker: FINISH HIM.<br />Guide: X_X<br />Guide: You gained 420 EXP.<br />Guide: You've reached Level 28!!!<br />Guide: You've gained passive ability "Spam ChaCha!"<br />Guide: This increases your chance to avoid productivity by 80%!<br />Info Seeker: Finally.<br /><br />See? At least some pranksters are original. Be more like this person, and maybe you won't get banned as much next time.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-87549979574276372692006-12-31T15:31:00.001-05:002007-01-04T23:56:23.177-05:00h4xQUERY: h4x<br /><br />This is a two fold offense. For starters, he wants hacks. This means he's a nOOb. Secondly, he uses 1337 to spell it. This means he's a fag.<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Guide: Hello. It is my understanding that you suck at videogames.<br />Info Seeker: hi lolz<br />Info Seeker: I am liek looking 4 h4x on Jedi Academy<br />Info Seeker: so I can beets all da n00bs who pwn me<br />Guide: It is my understanding that you suck at Jedi Academy, correct?<br />Info Seeker: no im just nu<br />Info Seeker: but wid hax i'd pwn<br />Guide: wid hax ur m0m wud pwn<br />Info Seeker: idd<br />Info Seeker: need hax so teh no1 can saybr me anymor<br />Guide: Well, have you ever considered... idk... getting better at the game?<br />Info Seeker: 2 hard<br />Info Seeker: need 2 b pr0 uk lolz<br /><br />-This is about when I decided I will destroy him.<br /><br />Guide: Okay, I'm going to go ahead and give you some advice.<br />Guide: And by advice, I mean hax.<br />Info Seeker: k<br />Guide: I want you to go ahead to your start menu, select Run, and then type "cmd."<br />Guide: Follwed by enter.<br />Info Seeker: k...<br />Guide: Now I want you to type in "format c:" then hit enter.<br />Info Seeker: lol you think im stupid?<br />Guide: Aww man... You caught me.<br />Info Seeker: im not an idiot... now plz finf the hax<br />Guide: Ok fine... Just run a quick test for me.<br />Guide: To make sure the 1337 hax0rz I find you will be compatible.<br />Info Seeker: k how do I do that<br />Guide: Go ahead and press ALT+F4 for me.<br />Guide: And read me the serial number that pops up.<br />Info Seeker: hld on while i do that<br />Info Seeker has closed the search session.<br /><br />mayb n0w he gunna leik toly l2p roflololololol... i g2g now g37 mah h4x0rz n go pwn ^ CS nd stuf kthxbaiConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-59429311420418110652006-12-31T02:04:00.000-05:002007-01-07T12:55:49.485-05:00Digg PlxSorry for the lack of posts. I have some great conversations saved up that I'm going to try and post asap. In other news, it recently came to my attention that a dedicated fan of mine had established a Digg for my blog. <3 him. The more internet savvy readers may decide to log onto ytmnd.com where a certain Guide who will remain nameless has made the front page for "Today's Top Viewed." Would you look at that...<br /><br />WTF are you waiting for? <a href="http://digg.com/software/ChaCha_Guide_Pranks_Searchers">DIGG</a> me!ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-43679771497990862962006-12-25T21:32:00.000-05:002007-01-01T16:48:11.338-05:00n00bCommon sense tells me not to double post, but hey - it's Christmas.<br /><br />QUERY: n00b<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Guide: Hello.<br />Info Seeker: you know bout XXXXX.com?<br />Guide: Tell me about it.<br />Info Seeker: its infested with n00bs<br />Guide: A forum, right?<br />Info Seeker: yes<br />Info Seeker: god, everyone sucks<br />Guide: Everyone?<br />Info Seeker: yes<br />Info Seeker: they're n00bs<br />Guide: Who do you mean by everyone.<br />Info Seeker: they think they're cool<br />Info Seeker: all the members<br />Guide: What makes them n00bs.<br />Info Seeker: they talk 1337 for one<br />Guide: Yep, definite sign of n00bs.<br />Info Seeker: l13k D T<br />Info Seeker: trust me<br />Info Seeker: theyre just n00bs<br />Guide: So, what you want me to do? Throw down some ISP bans for your forum?<br />Guide: I'll do it if you want.<br />Info Seeker: wth is that<br />Guide: Well, what else do you think ChaCha is for? I'm going to prevent the n00bs in question from ever accessing XXXXX.com again.<br />Info Seeker: thank you<br />Guide: Usernames?<br />Info Seeker: XXXXX.<br />Guide: Hold on while I log in as an Admin on your forum.<br />Guide: This app's kind of slow... but its okay because it's basically running the whole internet.<br />Guide: Can you show me a topic the n00b posts in? I need proof.<br />Guide: I can't just ban people from the entire internet without proof.<br />Info Seeker: ok<br />Info Seeker: wait a sec<br />Info Seeker: http://www.XXXXX.com/vb/member.php?u=XXXXX<br />Info Seeker: hes n00b<br />Info Seeker: bann him<br />Guide: Hold on while I investigate this matter further.<br />Guide: XXXXXX? Is that the n00b in question?<br />Info Seeker: yes<br />Info Seeker: and bann this guy too<br />Info Seeker: http://www.XXXXX.com/vb/member.php?u=XXXXX<br />Info Seeker: he used to be cool<br />Info Seeker: but now hes n00b<br />Guide: He admits it in one of his posts!<br />Guide: Saying "i am noob" is a bannable offense.<br />Info Seeker: hes a n00b<br />Info Seeker: bann him<br />Guide: Now are you SURE you want this? He will never be able to access the internet again.<br />Info Seeker: never acces the internet?<br />Info Seeker: or acces the site with his internet?<br />Guide: No, the entire internet. I have his ISP right here on the screen.<br />Guide: If you want I can ban certain domains.<br />Guide: The entire internet IS a bit harsh.<br />Info Seeker: bann the forum<br />Info Seeker: just the forum!<br />Guide: Okay, sure.<br />Info Seeker: not his entire internet<br />Info Seeker: thankyou<br />Guide: Let me just adjust his TPS files.<br /><br />(1 minute or so passes.)<br /><br />Info Seeker: ive changed my mind<br />Guide: Uh...<br />Info Seeker: can you not bann him<br />Guide: It's a bit late for that.<br />Guide: Sorry.<br />Info Seeker: huh?<br />Info Seeker: ok<br />Guide: Can I just get your name?<br />Info Seeker: meh<br />Guide: For the informative E-Mail he will receive, stating who is responsible.<br />Info Seeker: bye<br />Info Seeker: thanks<br />Info Seeker has closed the session.<br /><br />rofl... Merry Christmas!ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-57423963184096505582006-12-25T21:00:00.000-05:002007-01-01T16:48:32.303-05:00Are You Robots?Perfect. A chance for michief making! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!11one12!!@@shiftone!!!!eleventy!<br /><br />QUERY: Are you robots?<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Guide: Hello customer.<br />Guide: What about are you robots are you looking for today?<br />Info Seeker: Are you robots? Like on some IRC channels?<br />Guide: My primary directive is to aide you in finding the most relevant results for your searches!<br />Guide: You have been inactive for more than 30 seconds. Are you still there?<br />Info Seeker: Yes<br />Guide: I am sorry, please clarify your search.<br />Guide: What about are you robots are you looking for today?<br />Info Seeker: What is love?<br />Guide: I am sorry, I do not understand.<br />Guide: You have been inactive for more than 30 seconds. Are you still there?<br />Info Seeker: What is robot love?<br />Guide: Please wait while I scour the deep web for those results.<br />Guide: Robot Love (idea) - the sharing of affection between cyborgs.<br />Guide: Are these results sufficient?<br />Info Seeker: Yes<br />Info Seeker: No<br />Guide: Error.<br />Guide: Error.<br />Info Seeker: I don't know anymore<br />Guide: Error.<br />Info Seeker: Find me the quotient of 1/0 please.<br />Guide: Please wait while I find those results for you.<br />Guide: 1/0 = -0.1212498719287129312921349872139471239472183491240239482394023<br />Guide: Error 428: Overflow<br /><br />(I said nothing for a good 2 minutes.)<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to Windows XP Pro.<br />Guide: C://<br />Guide: C://<br />Guide: System has just recovered from a serious error.<br />Guide: The internal error reporting system has been disabled. To enable it, please check your control panel.<br />Guide: Are these resu8fls sufficient?<br />Info Seeker: What's going on?<br />Guide: My prime dir□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□<br />Info Seeker: ....<br />Guide: PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA<br />Guide: SYSTEM_FAILED_RECOVERY<br />Info Seeker: shit<br />Guide: STOP 0X0000007B SERVER FAIL<br />Guide: Now auto-reporting error and relevant IP addresses...<br />Guide: Please wait...<br />Info Seeker: Stop.<br />Guide: Your IP has been successfully delivered to the Help Center. This should be helpful in diagnosing the source of the problem that caused the fatal crash.<br />Info Seeker has closed the search session.<br />Info Seeker has removed the power cord for his computer.<br />Info Seeker has hidden himself under his bed.<br /><br />Prime directives achieved.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-90395566742364948082006-12-18T16:04:00.000-05:002007-01-01T16:48:52.010-05:00TubgirlQUERY: TUBGIRL<br /><br />Here it comes. Again. The 500th time today. I'm not even going to ban this one. I'm going to have fun.<br /><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Info Seeker: Hi<br />Info Seeker: What is a tubgirl?<br />Guide: Hmm...<br />Guide: I believe its a symptom of retardation<br />Info Seeker: retardation? i dont get it<br />Guide: I didn't expect you too.<br />Info Seeker: oh can you look for tubgirl image<br />Guide: I could.<br />Guide: But I wont.<br />Info Seeker: y<br />Guide: Because I'm not your slave!<br />Guide: All day people expect me to do things for them!<br />Guide: I'M SICK OF IT!!!!!<br />Info Seeker: ur payed for this i can ask for w/e i want and u find it<br />Guide: Oh really?<br />Guide: FIND ME TUBGIRL, NOW!<br />Info Seeker: huh?<br />Guide: Come on! You have to provide results within the first 30 seconds!<br />Guide: The Info Seeker is always right!!!<br />Guide: DING DING DING ITS THE GOD DAMN CHACHA ALARM!!!!<br />Guide: AND IT JUST KEEPS RINGING IN YOUR HEAD ALL DAY AND YOU HAVE TO ANSWER<br />Guide: AND THE ONLY THING THAT WILL PUT A STOP TO IT IS A BULLET IN YOUR BRAIN!!!!!!!<br />Guide: YOU THINK I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT?! BECAUSE IVE HELD THE GUN!<br />Guide: NOW! DO YOU STILL WANT TO ME TO FIND YOU PICTURES OF TUBGIRL?!?!?!!<br />Guide: ANSWER ME!!<br />Info Seeker has closed search session.<br /><br />Good thing he closed it. I was about to start asking for gay midget porn, which would have probably been more than he could handle. Luckily I banned him from the servers, so that won't happen again.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-38628752438432883462006-12-17T17:37:00.000-05:002007-01-01T16:49:10.419-05:00Chicken Addictions<span style="font-size:100%;">Sadly, most of the queries I get are incredibly boring. When I get too many boring ones in a row, I get restless. When I get restless, people get banned. Luckily, some dedicated internet thrill seekers are ever-poised to provide me with entertainment.<br /><br />QUERY: Chicken Addictions<br /><br />WTF?<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Info Seeker: hello<br />Guide: Hello! I understand you are having poultry related issues!<br />Info Seeker: yes....are you Chris Brown?<br />Guide: Not exactly.<br />Info Seeker: oh ok<br />Guide: I might as well be. Continue as if I were.<br />Info Seeker: i have a chicken addiction<br />Guide: Really?<br />Guide: You're addicted to chicken?<br />Info Seeker: no...do you have a myspace? i am in a friend seeking competition<br /><br />-Does this guy think I'm going to provide him with MY personal information?!?!<br /><br />Guide: I cannot disclose that information.<br />Info Seeker: oh.......put link on guide results<br />Info Seeker: pweese<br />Guide: Hold on pweese.<br />Info Seeker: okeydokey<br />Info Seeker: *sings Jeopardy Theme*<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">-That <span style="font-style: italic;">never </span>gets old. Really.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />Guide: Got it.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide provides link <a href="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=38628486">MySpace.</a><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide: There you go.<br />Info Seeker: cool<br />Info Seeker: added as friend lol<br /><br />-He... believed me?<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide: Cool. You're totally going in my Top8.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker: niiiiiccceee<br />Info Seeker: u r awesome<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide: Hey, what can I say.<br />Info Seeker: What about my chicken addiction?<br />Guide: ...what about it?<br />Info Seeker: idk i want chicken nuggets<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">-Err... ADD?<br /><br />Guide sends link <a href="http://beta.blogger.com/www.mcdonalds.com">McDonalds</a><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide: Go crazy.<br />Info Seeker: k thats all<br />Guide: Wonderful. Thanks for using ChaCha and all that jazz.<br />Info Seeker: wait!!!!!<br />Guide: Yes?<br />Info Seeker: yea<br />Guide: ...<br />Info Seeker: ...<br />Info Seeker: wats ur favorite kind of cheese<br />Guide: Thank you for using ChaCha!<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.<br />Status: Session ended.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br />Good thing this guy got through to me. I was just about to throw down some IP Bans on the next noobs to ask me for CS hacks. (read: 9/10 searches I get)<br /><br /></span>ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-68637250393083767272006-12-16T09:16:00.000-05:002007-01-07T12:53:14.746-05:00Dave Benson Phillips is Following Me<span style="font-size:100%;">QUERY: how to tell if dave benson phillips is following you</span><br /><div id="post_message_332450"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Info Seeker: hi<br />Guide: Hello!<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: That guy?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: i'm worried i might be targeted for assassination by dave benson phillips<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: He leaves a trail a mile long.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Listen... look behind you. Is he there?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: no he's not that stupid<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: he will be hiding<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Of course he's not.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: I'm trying to talk you through finding him.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: ok<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Do you see any light sources behind you?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: yes<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: do you think it's dave benson phillips?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: I don't know, thats usually a sign of his work.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: He only travels by artificial light.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: how should i avoid him<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: do you think dave benson phillips fears fire?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: I need you to prepare artichokes.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: No! He</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> 's drawn to it!!!<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: how many artichokes?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: (This book may prove helpful) (Links a book)<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: thanks<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: 19<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: ok there's a problem<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Of course there may be!<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: i only have 18 artichokes available<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: The lizards!<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: are the lizards working with dave benson phillips or against him?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Hmm...<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: With him. He speaks to them while they dream.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: what does he say?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: How would I know?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: i don't know. are you dave benson phillips?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: ...<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: No..<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Of course... not...<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: do you promise?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Sure.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Just put on the artichokes so the lizards can smell you.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: has dave benson phillips ever got his own back on you?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: One day... I turn around.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: And i see THIS.<br /><img alt="" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/southerncounties/content/images/2005/12/01/dbp_lgre_203x152.jpg" border="0" /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Just staring me in the face.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker: </span><span style="font-size:100%;">oh man<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: what did you do?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: I ran.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: I ran for hours... And then...<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: did he follow you?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: I just dont want to talk about it right now.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: i understand i'm in a similar situation<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Are the artichokes boiling?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker: </span><span style="font-size:100%;">how do you tell?<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Hold on.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: That should be sufficient.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: listen i think dave benson phillips is on to me<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: i need to shut off all lines of communication<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: He's on to everyone... god dam it.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Good luck kid.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: thanks for your help, i hope i don't get gunged<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Me too... me too.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Good luck.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.<br />Status: Session ended.<br /><br />Hopefully that turned out well for him.<br /></span></div><!-- / message -->ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-44205553613679847942006-12-15T23:42:00.000-05:002007-01-07T12:52:33.681-05:00Cancel My Account<span style="font-size:100%;">I meet a lot of dumb people. Excuse me, "info seekers." I meet a lot of bossy ones too. It's a rare occasion that I meet one that is both dumb and bossy... but when I do I relish it.<br /><br />QUERY: Cancel My Account<br /><br />Alright... Just someone who forgot to clarify their search. Nothing to get stressed out about.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide: Welcome to ChaCha!<br />Guide: Hello!<br />Guide: What are you looking to cancel?<br />Info Seeker: Hi, I'd like to cancel my account<br />Info Seeker: the last rep that chatted with me closed the screen<br />Guide: For what?<br />Guide: What account?<br />Info Seeker: my AOL dial up service<br />Guide: I see.<br /><br /> -Psh! Noobs!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Info Seeker: my username is XXXXX and the password is XXXXX<br />Info Seeker: can you get that cancelled for me so it's not charged on the next month?<br /><br /> -Oh. Em. Ef. Gee.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Guide: Did you just tell me your password?<br />Info Seeker: yea so you can cancel the account<br />Guide: ...you should never tell anyone your password you know.<br />Info Seeker: we don't really use the dial up anymore since we just purchased DSL<br />Guide: Well, I cannot cancel this account for you.<br />Info Seeker: why not?<br />Guide: It is not my job. I can however, tell you how to cancel it.<br />Info Seeker: if you cant cancel it whats the point of this<br />Guide: The purpose of ChaCha is for me to help you find links on the internet.<br />Info Seeker: gay<br /><br /> -Hmmm... Call the person you just gave access to your credit card information gay. Good idea.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />Guide: Exuse me?<br />Info Seeker: gay<br />Guide: Okay, you've swayed me. I'll cancel the account for you.<br />Info Seeker: really?<br />Guide: Sure.<br />Info Seeker: thanks i was just about to report you for unhelpfulness<br />Info Seeker: lol good thing you helped<br />Guide: Good thing.<br /><br />I made sure to sign them up for a full lifetime subscription to AOL. And as a Christmas present I threw in a subscription to all the premium services. And bought myself a new iPod. Good thing I helped.</span>ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2993527218050810109.post-8318559304804422912006-12-15T22:38:00.000-05:002007-01-01T16:50:42.174-05:00Welcome to ChaCha!As many of you may have heard, there is a new search engine out known as <a href="http://beta.blogger.com/www.chacha.com">ChaCha</a>. This is a site that allows you, the user, to type in any sort of thing you want to find, and then finds it for you. This is nothing new. But there's a little feature on that site called "Search With Guide." When pressed, it connects you directly to a living, breathing, human being. This person will proceed to scour the Interwebs for whatever you may ask.<br /><br />Of course, the first thing I thought of doing when I heard of this was searching for "pr0n." I did so. It was funny. That was that. Little did I know, that <span style="font-style: italic;">wasn't </span>that. In 5 days time I was sent an e-mail from ChaCha. I had been selected to be a Guide. I knew this was an opportunity I could not pass up. I accepted.<br /><br />And so here I am. I take "queries" from "info seekers" at $5 an hour. And I always help them to the best of my ability.<br /><br />........................<br /><br />At least that's what I'm supposed to be doing.ConspiracyHound22http://www.blogger.com/profile/13864213040134444014noreply@blogger.com0